A burnt-out seeker wrote this to me- ''I know in my own life, lack of consistent discipline keeps me so close yet so far. Overdependence on sensation is detrimental to me. Lack of sustained spiritual focus and undefined goals and expectations keeps me from growing to higher levels. And being alone, a solitary practitioner lacking support from a community certainly doesn't help."
Undefined goals. What goal can take you to God? Your goals can barely let you sleep. All goals are in relation to the other, to the crowd around you. This is the crux- 95% of seekers' spiritual engagement is inspired by what is trending with the masses. 'Ether' is full of spiritual stuff and non-sense...books, forums, teachers, lightworkers, channels, conduits, healers, psychics, clairvoyants, special powers, higher spiritual states....all kinds of noise...something out there somewhere, is bound to draw you in. The spiritual ideals are alluring...the mind loves the idea of love, compassion, peace serenity, open heart, non-judgement, wisdom, and higher states of being? It is worth becoming aware of the fact that it is a social hypnotic jumping into a spiritual quagmire simply because of a very loud spiritual suggestion on the social media There is a lack of clarity in expectations and goals because the whole stuff is magically conjured by the suggestion of the other. There is a struggle in it. It is almost obligatory to achieve the eulogized spiritual ideals of compassion, non-judgement, love etc ...and almost everyone fails miserably, and then beats themselves up. A Great unsettling. In contrast, a deep pining arises in the heart...Utterly independent of others. The urge of this pining is so personal that it does not need another's suggestion or testimony. The yearning is so powerful that it won't let you live, and neither will it let you die. Your entire being is high-jacked completely and without any respite. An inner churning ensues...In this great inner churning, you behave akin to a moth that seeks flame that burns it to ashes. A pull so strong that goals are not in the equation. Focus is not of your choosing, it is there, by the sheer force of this yearning. It is a compulsion to act, move, seek, focus or whatever else needs to happen...effortlessly. An inner compulsion makes sure that you will hover around that flame like a moth. Never wandering away and never not attending to that inner urge. The heart is established in the inner remembrance. This yearning, this remembrance itself is pure grace. It cannot be conjured up, fabricated or initiated by your will. It finds you, you cannot hunt it down. It comes on its own. It is not of your 'choosing'. It always chooses you. Decidedly, the urge for spirit is not strong in everyone, but it's there in all in great measure albeit dormant, unclear, muddied over, at the bottom of the priority list...but it is there. This is the reason why spiritual stuff calls us for a time then we lose focus, intent, direction and so on and so forth. A step forward two backward...oscillating between being chuffed to miffed with your own spiritual journey With grace, the desire and urge are purified. Until then it is just another goal to achieve. Others are doing this circus, I musbetter keep up with the Jones. We all try to keep up with the Joneses. It is the cross of a conditioned mind. Grace makes the seeking completely introverted and intimate enough that one becomes oblivious of the Joneses. When joneses disappear, simplicity dawn. Then you cannot worry about any spiritual ideals. One lives and thrives in the great unknowing. Life lives you.