Grace will challenge you again and again. It will thwart millions of your conditions and agendas relentlessly until you are done with them. It does not leave you half-ripe. (if you don't run away, that is)
It will dissolve you completely, and for that, it will empty you, and burn the very foundations of your false identity. It is burning down the house. and at the same time, you find you are being constantly rebirthed on all fronts of day-to-day life, to live with more fun, peace, flow settledness etc. Dismantling the old and decrepit and ushering in the new. That's the experience of most of you.
As Shakti burns old energy, creating more inner space, more profound levels of grace come into play. Looking after you, smoothing your bumpy road, settling you within your circumstances, bringing more joy and peace in and around you.
This settling down prepares you for Fierce grace, the grace of Kali which fully activates in your life only when your basic needs and impulses are met and sublimated. You then want to die unto yourself, you bump into someone who died unto themself. That's when you are getting sincere and up close with yourself.
Grace is benevolent and cataclysmic in equal measure.
It will throw you into situations, you think you cannot cope with. It will command you to love those who you find hardest to love and it will keep forcing you until you give in or (run away...that option is always available, God forbid). Grace will do the most 'horrendous' things. It will break your heart many times to open it, to fill it with humility. to undo the delusion of the conditioned mind.
When you can finally come to recognise grace in the unravelling of your conditioned mind, surrender begins to happen. You want Grace to do what she will and start flowing with it. It becomes your joy, solace peace and freedom
It will exhaust your resistance, conditions agendas and closed-off hearts...until you assume your rightful place in the scheme of things. You learn to become a slave, As soon as you mature to do the bidding of the present moment, you will also find that you have become the master of your mind. By being receptive when Kali is merrily bashing and thrashing the hell out of you, you fly off the tangent of circles of the delusional mind. You are liberated from the grind of the conditioned mind and find yourself merged in the flow of existence.
True life begins. A most ordinary life lived extraordinarily. Paradoxes merge.