"I am right" is your cross. It brings unsaid suffering. The mind goes to great lengths to maintain its righteousness. It suffers consequently, but that is a price it is quite happy to pay. Because the mind much prefers to be in a dictating position than owning up, bowing down and embracing peace. Being right means everything to the mind drowned in ignorance.
Being justified and right is everything to your mind. Even if it means keeping discord, rancour and anguish running...Your mind is not invested in your peace. It is invested in being in control.
The more miserable you are more beautifully your mind runs you. However it is invested in telling you that you need peace, do something with your life, be compassionate, find the presence, do your spiritual journey and help others do theirs...another beautiful way your mind controls you...while all you have to do is challenge the narratives your conditioned mind keeps feeding you...that happens with grace and grace only.
If you are receptive a simple understanding strikes that being right is not such a grand prize after all. It is a booby prize. It promises much, takes so much as sacrifice and delivers next to nothing.
Mind is invested in vindicating itself. It sacrifices vital to fortify the false and puny. It sacrifices the Real for the shadow. That is what it does and does it incessantly.
The the way mind wins is hardly a win. It is defeat. You cannot see it because it happens right under your nose, and catches you every time, several times a day.
Most seekers know too much but have no real joy, or peace because of this dynamic. Spiritual journey is done to vindicate one's understanding and experiences...There is no room for the new...stale old is being defended. That is the essence of resistance.
Resistance is entirely rooted in the mind's tendency to vindicate itself and the righteousness of what it knows.
Mind in all its righteousness is the only sacrifice needed on the path to God.
God and mind are two different directions.
Peace begins to dawn when the mind loses its itch to vindicate itself.
It becomes. a happy fool, a bumbling idiot, a mad hatter...losing interest in all self-justification to anybody including oneself. A ripe, mature loses all agenda, and couldn't care less. It cannot be bothered...
The mind must become ripe, ready, obedient to make any real progress.
Then and only then peace is a possibility. I shall be exposing and clearing subtle dynamics of suffering in weekly Satsangs over the next 21 weeks, starting on 31.5.2023. Those who really and sincerely pine to know their true relationship with God and their rightful place in the scheme of things are welcome to join. It is an intense, fun and liberating journey. It needs sincerity, openness and a true willingness to know thyself, the very essence of God.